A Question Leading to a Theory - Pt 1

He said. She said. He did. She did. He should. She should. He’s so… She’s so… He is. She is. How could he? How could she? Why would he? Why would she?

This is how gossiping, bitching, or whatever you may wish to call it, starts. Why would we even bother discussing it if we didn’t care about that he or she or how we might be seen to that he or she?

Or is it because we envy some quality that they possess, and by throwing an arsenal of aggravating words they might finally surrender and reveal their secret so that we too can acquire this quality?

Or is it because we want to see that person reach their full potential, just that we go about it in the most ungraceful manner?

Do we subconsciously hope that what we have said will reach that person or persons in the hope for change so that we can be closer? Or so that we can bring about confrontation in order to reach a resolution?

Or is it because we see those flaws within ourselves? Are we just trying to grasp and control our own insecurities and worries? After all, it is much easier to see these in others than within ourselves as denial tends to act as our own big, stalwart bodyguard with bitch tits.

Or is it because we just need to vent the steam built from the pressures of frustration, and once we have, realise that that is not how we feel at all? Is venting to someone else rather than the person themself acceptable in order to avoid ruffling feathers over something so trivial? Will they understand that it is just venting, rather than something more substantial? It all depends.

That’s what it all really comes down to. It all depends. It is all so circumstantial. I believe that love is unconditional; it is forgiving, helping us defend against the onslaught of ‘condemning’ words so that we can learn more about each other and our weaknesses, giving support and diminishing the space of isolation.

In my mind, we are all each other’s mirrors. I would not know who I am if I did not interact and connect with others. If someone says or does something I like or don’t like, I have learnt something. Every person, whether it is a parent I have known a lifetime or an absolute stranger who I have shared a fleeting moment with, they have all held up a mirror helping me to see myself in a different light or to reaffirm something about myself. Even if it is something unflattering, it is always good to know and to be aware of. I also believe there are no bad ‘things’, once you start removing the scum from its surface and scooping out its vile contents, you are always left with a beautiful pearl worth a wealth of knowledge, affirmation and understanding. You just have to be prepared to get your hands dirty instead of trying to make it go away.

There are so many tangents to this subject, which itself is one of many aspects of the human condition, a condition that can be understandable to an extent but always keeps us guessing and theorising, leading us down rabbit holes and winding pathways that equates to our life journey in learning about others and ultimately ourselves.